U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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