And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
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You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
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I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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