I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
