why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
