i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
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I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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