i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
