I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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