I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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