Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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