i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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