his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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