He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
