you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize