Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
