.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
