I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
we should paint friendship bongs
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