you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This is my gift to your gina
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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