Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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