Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
