so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
