You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?