so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i drank out of a bidet.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me