If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
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i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
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And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk