That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
