Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
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So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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