we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
