You kept calling me your small dog last night.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
