You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
