something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
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you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
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Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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