Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
