Umm I'm too high to move.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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