sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
