i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
