"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
