I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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