ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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