Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
