Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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