i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
