I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
