Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
