I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
