I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
