just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
