If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
