Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
