If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
this beer tastes like vomit already
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
