take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
