Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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