first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
