ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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