Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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