When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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