This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
