he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
