I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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