Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
