Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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