Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
