Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
