Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
