What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
this just has baby written all over it
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
