You really coming over, don't trick.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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