Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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